Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
