Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
