i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize