you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
