I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
