it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just pee around me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
