I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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