Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
