There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My feet surprised me
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