I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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