the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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