i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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