I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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