I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
