I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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