So drunk its hurt
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
