i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
