Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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