He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
