Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
