Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
