how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
