the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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