There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
