your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You left your phone here
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