When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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