listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
