the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He did a backflip because drugs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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