I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
