I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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