She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
