yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
