i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
