Your face is a jimmy john
Duck Duck Cougar?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
