Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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