Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
