weddingsv make me drug and hornr
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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