I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
