I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
