hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
