I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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