best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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