when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
