90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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