I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
