I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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