Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
