It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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