Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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