I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize