dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
