omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
