Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
