I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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