You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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