The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
