the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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