I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
