I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
