He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
