I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
