My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
