so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
