Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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