everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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